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| The famous "Dome of Lights" in Kaohsiung's MRT station, Formosa Boulevard. Apparently, the artist designed this to reflect the Genesis story. |
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| Central Park Subway exit where they filmed a scene from the drama "Black and White" |
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| Taiwan's Costco |
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| Dinner with the worship team! |
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| FINALLY made a short trip to Taipei! Took a travel bus that had touch screen computers and chairs that you can control and make into a bed |
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| Cousin's girlfriend, Tong (: |
One thing I can say about these two weeks ... is eventful. Many that has been getting my prayer emails or have been told by me personally, would understand why I would describe it that way. For those that are still in the dark, don't worry, it'll be revealed soon (:
As I honestly do not know how to write everything down in a flow, here comes that numbers, or as I would label it: "Teyen's brain is in a mess right now, so she's just gonna write down whatever pops into her mind".
1) My friend from Ohio, USA came to visit last weekend! Jessica's in an exchange program right now in Hong Kong and the university gave them a week to travel anywhere. I was so glad to hear that her group chose Taiwan.
Took her to all the places that at least I know is fun: all the major nightmarkets, 西子灣 Xi Zih Wan Ocean, and my school area. Definitely made sure she got to try all the goodies too!
The most grateful thing was she was a bit of a little "revival" for me. I had many really, really good talks with her. Because of the benefit of both of us having mutual friends, I guess it was bittersweet when we talked about home. What I needed the most though, was to finally process many things that was on my heart these past few months that I would not be able to express through my broken Chinese. Overall, she came with many encouragements and challenges that I think God wanted me to hear.
2) Taipei. Honestly... all I can say is, Taipei looks just like Kaohsiung except their streets are smaller. And very crowded.
My cousin's girlfriend was very hospitable and cute, but I was entertained by the idea that she had about Taipei and Kaohsiung. Wherever she took me, she would ask me "Does Kaohsiung have this?" as if I lived in a land of nothingness. On my last day, her family took me out for lunch and when we got to a street market, she said "this is a street market!" I then replied, " I know... it's not much different from Kaohsiung's." Judging by her expression, I think no one has ever told her that.
I guess just from the eyes of a foreigner myself compared to my cousins and cousin's girlfriend, our world of Taiwan is very different.
3) Here comes what I've processed today and a confession.
For the past month, questions like what are my passions? Dreams? what am I really living for? has been circling around in my mind for a long, long time. For the past month, I honestly felt like I've been wasting my parent's money here and not knowing why God has sent me to this island. Yes, few lessons here and there, got to meet people, improve my Chinese, found that I was too comfortable back at home, but I just felt like
there was more to this.
Today I brought a friend I met from school to church. By sitting next to her, God opened my eyes. I surrendered and prayed that I would glorify Him through everything I do and say during my time here and that's what He was doing. I realized that even though my adventure's ending soon, I was brought to meet her and others, to plant seeds, and no matter what the number and outcome would be,
He was glorified.
Two nights ago, I was crying in my room as I asked God, why? I'm tired of being last -minute, spontaneous, moving around, and feeling like I don't have a home. I'm tired of doing it all alone. I'm tired of once I thought I found something to commit to, whether it be a person, a group of people, or school, or whatever it is, you call me to leave.
Right then, an older sister back at home emailed me and I started telling her all this. I told her, I'm scared to commit to anything anymore. I'm scared to have relationships, to meet people, to love, because it seems like right when all those begins to take root, God takes it and pulls it out, then calls me to Go. All my friendships ends on the sixth year, I've been moving around since I was 8 years old, and the sight of boxes wherever I am never leaves.
One student of mine that I was student teaching at last year, when heard that my term was up, yelled out loudly in front of the class, "This is not fair! Nothing lasts forever!" Those words never left me. I thought he disliked me but I was never able to imagine that he would say that in front of the class. But those words never left me. Yes, nothing lasts forever.
But You do.
As much fear and uncertainty can lie in my heart right now, Abba, the only peace that I can gain in the end is knowing that You are certain of what lies ahead. And of all the people and relationships I've made here, I can only say that I trust they're all in Your hands.
What I'm fighting for, what I'm living for isn't the world; it's You. So through all of this, what can I gain except a King's heart that's worth a thousand more than all I can gain here in a world that's limited?
A man's steps are directed by the LORD.
How then can anyone understand his
own way?
Proverbs 20:24
人的腳步為耶和華所定，人豈能明白自己的路呢？
箴言 20:24
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