jeremiah

"Yet my people have forgotten me,
days without number." 
Jeremiah 2:32

"What is faith?" 
I cannot even begin to share how long that question has been repeating in my head. Like a taunting voice, it won't stop echoing and repeating itself; rebuking and challenging me. Ever since the plane ticket was bought for this one year in Taiwan, it just feels like I don't know the answer anymore. Flipping back and forth through His word, His love letters to me, I've just been getting more rebuking words than reassurances. 


I've been reading Jeremiah for a long time and of course, the first four chapters are all about Israel and her brokenness that keeps driving herself away from Him. Impossibly hard to not see myself as her, Jeremiah's words hasn't done anything else except pierce my heart with guilt, doubt, and questions. Thing were going well... 


What does it mean to be His daughter? To live a life of faith? To truly be immersed in His joy and love? Do I actually believe in all this or am I just so used to living a life "of faith" because I grew up with it? If I let go, how many people would I disappoint? 


I just want to have that child-like faith again. 


Taiwan's been so hard in a way that ... it's definitely a spiritual battle every single day. My family here challenges my faith with their questions and sarcastic jokes sometimes; seeing idols and temples on every streets and the people offering up their lives to them more passionately than I can love my God. 


If I'm not living for You, then what am I living for? What can I live for? 






Why am I here?