one year.

Same exact spot. In this cold, bright library, where I used to sit as a high school junior. Instead of a thick, heavy book titled "ACT", the letters "GRE" is next to me, along with a few other notebooks, a laptop, IVP books and of course, snacks.

As a naive, innocent 16 year old, I would never have imagined myself to be in this spot 5 years later.

I would never have imagined myself to be already going into my last year of college, preparing for what's going to come next. To be in InterVarsity. To have gone to Taiwan twice and even studied abroad there. To have met all these people throughout these years.

To be a dreamer still. 

I finally told my mom last night that I'm praying about moving to Taiwan, to get a teaching job there after grad school. Take it slow, she responded.

Pray.

My anxious heart tells me otherwise as now I want to rush through the preparation, the entrance into grad school, to graduate from grad school and then fly across the oceans so I can be finally one with the land that has taken hold of my heart 4 years ago and last summer. One year has already passed. I don't know what it is about that hot, small, tropical island that attracts me. I long to see the people, the business and the loud, obnoxious sounds of grandmas talking in Taiwanese as they exercise in the little parks. Uneven sidewalks, cockroaches as many as squirrels here in the US, mosquitoes that gave me allergic reactions, smell of gasoline everywhere, polluted air that left your face grey at the end of the day, buses that took 45 minutes to get to your stop, etc. etc. etc.

As I sit in this comfortable, quiet library located in a town where everything is orderly, organized, even, and clean... my heart sinks. I miss that terrible and loud island. I miss the warmth the people there gave you, the care, the love; the adventures I had exploring all the night markets in Kaohsiung, the malls with never ending floors; the bian dangs (lunchboxes), the 7-elevens; the mo pads and the subways.

What can I say?

Taiwan won my heart.

IVLI - week four

Last Sandy Cove cookout!

First IVLI multi-ethnic dance party!

My dance partner, Josh, for the Salsa and Swing! 

Vision talk presentations

Matt Kim giving some brave IVLI men a shave

Family

Narnia Trail!

Banquet night 

Last Family Group activity day: sailing!

Leaving our mark on Gnome's Rock

Going to Ohio!

Last group of IVLI people to say bye to

Thus ends the IVLI chapter.

I will never forget the people I've met here, especially the ones I may never see again. I will never forget the people who poured into me, even though they knew it was only for a month. I will never forget those that loved me despite of what I showed.

I will never forget His faithfulness when I screamed, spat, and shook my fist at His face when all He wanted was an embrace. I will never forget His whispers of, "be still" when I wanted to run away from everything and nothing.

I will never forget that in one short month, I made life-long friends and memories that showed His fingerprints in my life ever more so clearly.

Great is Thy faithfulness
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness,
Lord,
unto me. 

IVLI week 3

I still cannot believe that we are already in our third week. And I know, it's weird that I've been always updating in the middle of the week but Wednesdays are usually the only time Ben and I can come to the library.

 

 

Third week has been intense. Last Saturday, we had our first open mic where so many students blessed us with their gifts of poetry, music, and spoken word. 

Open Mic Saturday!

We also had our every Saturday cookout day!


Sandy Cove cookout every Saturdays

We have definitely met some sexy people here at IVLI

One of the staffs caught a seagull!

Mackinac Island outreach day.
Let's see if I can summarize a whole day in just one paragraph.


We all woke up at 7am, left by 8:45am after breakfast and packing our lunches. Divided rides and drove out for 45 minutes to the Star Line Ferry (which our IVLI tuition fee paid for) and got on the island around 10am. It was going to be our first time coming out of our "Christian bubble" into the real world again. But needless to say, this place was BEAUTIFUL. I didn't want to believe Ben and others when they told me before we got there that it was known for honeymoon destinations. This place though, seriously looked like it was out of a movie set.

Mackinac Island outreach day

We partnered up with the Mackinac Bible Church and started off with prayer, cultural lessons of the island and pep talk.

We had four sets going (A, B, C, D) where each set consisted of music, preaching, testimonies, skits, spoken word, and arts. Ben did preaching on Set C while I did music outreach on Set B. They also had things on the side where if your set wasn't doing outreach on the hill, you're either suppose to be in the crowd, managing the proxe station, or doing conversational evangelism, which is walk down the street and just get to know people!

Before I dive into how my conversational evangelism went with my partner, Dalton, the topic of multi-ethnicity and racism needs to be touched on first. Last week, IVLI went through three days of intense multi-ethnicity historical lessons, conversations, and reconciliations. It opened many people's eyes, both to whites and the minority students. Then on Sunday, day before Mackinac, our director gathered the minorities and gently warned us of the racism that happens on the Island. Next thing we know, (which we were completely okay with) we all grabbed a "white buddy" in order to walk down the street. To feel safer, Dalton became my partner which I'm grateful for now that I look back at it.

We approached many groups of people and not to my surprise, they hardly responded to me compared to when Dalton asked questions. At the end of our walk, I think my conversation with Dalton about being an Asian American and him being white was more interesting than the ones we had with the strangers on the road.

Conversational evangelism with Dalton, my partner

After four hours of outreach, we finally got pizza and free time to explore the island!

...then Jason stole my camera.

My IVLI family (: The Gymnastic Incarnate!

Biked around the whole island afterwards for free time

The famous Mackinac Island fudge

Ben and Jake's famous matching sweater day

 

 

As IVLI is almost to an end, one thing I can proclaim with my whole heart is God is faithful. Faithful during the times when doors gets slammed shut in my face; faithful when one person's love for me can never be enough; faithful when I shake my fist at His face; faithful when I run away.

I promised myself for these IVLI blog posts, I would not share my personal emotions (nor Ben's). Instead, to just show people what we've been doing throughout IVLI. But for just this once, whoever is reading this, I'm going to break that promise.

IVLI has been tough. It's not a place for comfort nor is it meant for students to just have pep talks and encouragements thrown at their face everyday. My past has been unburied here, old and new scars has been planted, and layers of embarrassment and anger had to be opened. It's been spiritually and emotionally draining.

But.

Despite the anger and the frustrations and the tears that has been wept, my God has been faithful and always will be. My God has never failed and He never will. My God has carried me through my strongest storms and I know He still will. Despite His trick of letting me go to IVLI so I have to face my problems in the middle of nowhere, which resulted in many angry fights and battles and spitting in His face, I'm glad He did. And I'm glad He was patient. Loving. Slow to anger. Kind. Forgiving.


Jeremiah 29:11

IVLI week 1 and 1/2

Ice cream trip day!

It's been an interesting week and a half. We've been learning so much that it's been a bit overwhelming. Morning sessions' topics ranged from "difficult conversations" to "multi-ethnicity and reconciliation". Personally, it's been a challenge processing through everything spiritually and emotionally but seriously, praise God for my family group.


Family group time



We've been very open every time we get together. Many of us share openly of our struggles, conflicts during IVLI, and even praises and blessings. God is definitely faithful in providing me this group because that was one of my biggest fear coming to IVLI: that I would not get along with my small group. 

Parachute + egg competition

Ben with his family group during the competition

Basketball timeeeeee

 
Ben's doing good. Overwhelmed too but free time has allowed him to process and rest. As for his family group, well according to him, it's been "chill". As much as he has shared with me, God's been challenging him in some areas and the biggest one coming up is next week for our evangelism trip to Mackinac Island. ...He's going to preach!! Please pray for him everyone (:


As for the fun activities ...that I've probably never mentioned until now (and trust me, it gets FUN), there's kayaking, camping, wind surfing, sailing, paddleboard, volleyball, basketball, etc etc etc. I'm already sunburned from kayaking almost everyday!

Bonfire with the family and cousins (another family group that's "related" to you)!

We had a challenging time... well, at least, the boys did haha

For the "sisters" I've met here, we've gotten so close it's a little bit weird to think that we just met last week. Our talks has been such a blessing and challenge. Just knowing and understanding that everyone who has come to this retreat has a goal and a passion for the people back at home, makes getting to know people even more easily here. What's been challenging and eye opening is to hear how everyone's schools and chapters have struggled through and how God faithfully carried them through all those conflicts. Ben and I definitely gained a lot of wisdom and advice when we presented how our chapter is doing back at Chicago just in these two weeks.

 

 

As for Jason, our Ohio friend, surprisingly he's in my cousin group! Not much to say here except he's still crazy as always ha.

 



Thrift store shopping with the families!

Celebrating Micah's (the guy with the hat) birthday

Just some prayer requests and praises:

Ben:
- Life's good.
- Just continue to be engaged
- Preaching on Monday. Please pray for peace and that God would speak through me.

Teyen:
- The support of my family group (as mentioned above) has been a blessing.
- Continue to be vulnerable with God. Emotionally and spiritually, it's been a little bit challenging processing through everything.